Guidelines for Revising a Composition

Revision  means  looking again  at what we have written to see how we can improve it. Some of us start revising as soon as we begin a rough  draft--restructuring and rearranging sentences as we work out our ideas. Then we return to the draft, perhaps several times, to make further revisions. Revision as Opportunity Revising is an opportunity to reconsider our topic, our readers, even our purpose for writing. Taking the time to rethink our approach may encourage us to make major changes in the content and structure of our work. As a general rule, the best time to revise is not right after youve completed a draft (although at times this is unavoidable). Instead, wait a few hours--even a day or two, if possible--in order to gain some distance from your work. This way youll be less protective of your writing and better prepared to make changes.   One last bit of advice: read your work aloud when you revise. You may hear problems in your writing that you cant see. Never think that what youve written cant be improved. You should always try to make the sentence that much better and make a scene that much clearer. Go over and over the words and reshape them as many times as is needed.(Tracy Chevalier, Why I Write. The Guardian, Nov. 24, 2006) Revision Checklist Does the essay have a clear and concise main idea? Is this idea made clear to the reader in a thesis statement early in the essay (usually in the introduction)?Does the essay have a specific purpose (such as to inform, entertain, evaluate, or persuade)? Have you made this purpose clear to the reader?Does the introduction create interest in the topic and make your audience want to read on?Is there a clear plan and sense of organization to the essay? Does each paragraph develop logically from the previous one?Is each paragraph clearly related to the main idea of the essay? Is there enough information in the essay to support the main idea?Is the main point of each paragraph clear? Is each point adequately and clearly defined in a topic sentence and supported with specific details?Are there clear transitions from one paragraph to the next? Have key words and ideas been given proper emphasis in the sentences and paragraphs?Are the sentences clear and direct? Can they be understood on the first reading? Are the sentences varied in length and structure? Could any sentences be improved by combining or restructuring them?Are the words in the essay clear and precise? Does the essay maintain a consistent tone?Does the essay have an effective conclusion--one that emphasizes the main idea and provides a sense of completeness? Once you have finished revising your essay, you can turn your attention to the finer details of editing and proofreading your work.

Multiculturalism In Music Essay - 1450 Words

Visualize in your head a rock band, and a rapper. What kind of clothes are they wearing. What lyric styles are they singing in? And what color are they? Ongoing stereotypes suggest that the rock band is a group of white musicians and the rapper would be black. However, examples from the past and present shows that these stereotypes are untrue. Music is defined as â€Å"The art of organizing tones to produce a coherent sequence of sounds to elicit an aesthetic response in a listener† (Morris, 864). This country’s youth is unlike any others, we have much control over what we do, and music is something that evolves around all of us. In this essay, I will discuss the evolution of youth music ranging from early rock, to today’s hip hop stars, from†¦show more content†¦It gave them a feeling of freedom and joy that had been lacking from previous music styles. Although rock became an instant hit with the youth, the music caused displeasure in the adult world. R ock was criticized for â€Å"juvenile delinquency to loosened sexual standards† (Ramp;RG, 27). The most notorious example of what adults didn’t like in rock music can be found in Elvis Presley. Elvis was the first white performer to expose an audience to rock music. However, the free-will style Elvis exhibited was not a real big hit with the adults, where he was condemned as a â€Å" whirling dervish of sex.† nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;Rock music then went on a tear, evolving into many different styles and forms. As rock matured and diversified, many new artists and distinct styles emerged. Such examples are blues, featured by B.B. King and Ruth Brown. Harmonious styles such as The Orioles, the energetic swing sounds of Little Richard, the role-model rock star Pat Boone, and the folk rock of the Everly Brothers. Rock usually evolved to what was happening in the world during that time period, such as war, politics, current events, and lifestyles. Another aspect that evolved rock music was technology. As more and more technology was developed, more integrated sounds were brought into rock, eventually resulting into such music as pop and disco. Music was now able to have artificial ‘beats’ that traditional instruments could not produce. This new form ofShow MoreRelatedMultiracial Identity in Essays by Julia Alvarez and Danzy Senna876 Words   |  4 Pagesmultiracialism can increa se their profit margin. Thus, we see the bombardment of multiracialism in pop culture today. This is especially apparent in the entertainment industry, particularly the music industry. Many celebrities now take pride in their multiethnic, multiracial heritage. Nowadays, it is chic for many music artists to be of multiracial background. 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Case Pneumonia free essay sample

Pneumonia is an inflammation of the lungs caused by an infection. It is also called Pneumonitis or Bronchopneumonia. Pneumonia can be a serious threat to our health. Although pneumonia is a special concern for older adults and those with chronic illnesses, it can also strike young, healthy people as well. It is a common illness that affects thousands of people each year in the Philippines, thus, it remains an important cause of morbidity and mortality in the country. There are many kinds of pneumonia that range in seriousness from mild to life-threatening. In infectious pneumonia, bacteria, viruses, fungi or other organisms attack your lungs, leading to inflammation that makes it hard to breathe. Pneumonia can affect one or both lungs. In the young and healthy, early treatment with antibiotics can cure bacterial pneumonia. The drugs used to fight pneumonia are determined by the germ causing the pneumonia and the judgment of the doctor. It’s best to do everything we can to prevent pneumonia, but if one do get sick, recognizing and treating the disease early offers the best chance for a full recovery. A case with a diagnosis of Pneumonia may catch one’s attention, though the disease is just like an ordinary cough and fever, it can lead to death especially when no intervention or care is done. Since the case is a toddler, an appropriate care has to be done to make the patient’s recovery faster. Treating patients with pneumonia is necessary to prevent its spread to others and make them as another victim of this illness. The lungs constitute the largest organ in the respiratory system. They play an important role in respiration, or the process of providing the body with oxygen and releasing carbon dioxide. The lungs expand and contract up to 20 times per minute taking in and disposing of those gases. Air that is breathed in is filled with oxygen and goes to the trachea, which branches off into one of two bronchi. Each bronchus enters a lung. There are two lungs, one on each side of the breastbone and protected by the ribs. Each lung is made up of lobes, or sections. There are three lobes in the right lung and two lobes in the left one. The lungs are cone shaped and made of elastic, spongy tissue. Within the lungs, the bronchi branch out into minute pathways that go through the lung tissue. The pathways are called bronchioles, and they end at microscopic air sacs called alveoli. The alveoli are surrounded by capillaries and provide oxygen for the blood in these vessels. The oxygenated blood is then pumped by the heart throughout the body. The alveoli also take in carbon dioxide, which is then exhaled from the body. Inhaling is due to contractions of the diaphragm and of muscles between the ribs. Exhaling results from relaxation of those muscles. Each lung is surrounded by a two-layered membrane, or the pleura, that under normal circumstances has a very, very small amount of fluid between the layers. The fluid allows the membranes to easily slide over each other during breathing. PATHOPHYSIOLOGY Pneumonia is a serious infection or inflammation of your lungs. The air sacs in the lungs fill with pus and other liquid. Oxygen has trouble reaching your blood. If there is too little oxygen in your blood, your body cells can’t work properly. Because of this and spreading infection through the body pneumonia can cause death. Pneumonia affects your lungs in two ways. Lobar pneumonia affects a section (lobe) of a lung. Bronchial pneumonia (or bronchopneumonia) affects patches throughout both lungs. Bacteria are the most common cause of pneumonia. Of these, Streptococcus pneumoniae is the most common. Other pathogens include anaerobic bacteria, Staphylococcus aureus, Haemophilus influenzae, Chlamydia pneumoniae, C. psittaci, C. trachomatis, Moraxella (Branhamella) catarrhalis, Legionella pneumophila, Klebsiella pneumoniae, and other gram-negative bacilli. Major pulmonary pathogens in infants and children are viruses: respiratory syncytial virus, parainfluenza virus, and influenza A and B viruses. Among other agents are higher bacteria including Nocardia and Actinomyces sp; mycobacteria, including Mycobacterium tuberculosis and atypical strains; fungi, including Histoplasma capsulatum, Coccidioides immitis, Blastomyces dermatitidis, Cryptococcus neoformans, Aspergillus fumigatus, and Pneumocystis carinii; and rickettsiae, primarily Coxiella burnetii (Q fever). The usual mechanisms of spread are inhaling droplets small enough to reach the alveoli and aspirating secretions from the upper airways. Other means include hematogenous or lymphatic dissemination and direct spread from contiguous infections. Predisposing factors include upper respiratory viral infections, alcoholism, institutionalization, cigarette smoking, heart failure, chronic obstructive airway disease, age extremes, debility, immunocompromise (as in diabetes mellitus and chronic renal failure), compromised consciousness, dysphagia, and exposure to transmissible agents. Typical symptoms include cough, fever, and sputum production, usually developing over days and sometimes accompanied by pleurisy. Physical examination may detect tachypnea and signs of consolidation, such as crackles with bronchial breath sounds. This syndrome is commonly caused by bacteria, such as S. pneumoniae and H. influenzae. NURSING PROFILE a. Patient’s Profile Name: R. C. S. B. Age: 1 yr,1 mo. Weight:10 kgs Religion: Roman Catholic Mother: C. B. Address: Valenzuela City b. Chief Complaint: Fever Date of Admission: 1st admission

The Effects of the Media on Creativity and Self

In the area of our psyche, the media wields frightening power. As consumers, we may believe we are active participants in the media. There may be an assumption that we choose our media, that we police its affects, that we understand its affects, and that we successfully counter any negative stereotypes or insensitive cultural representations that our media may depict with our own innate sense of self. Advertising We will write a custom essay sample on The Effects of the Media on Creativity and Self-Esteem specifically for you for only $16.05 $11/page Learn More We may believe that the media does not teach us how to think. We may also believe that our creativity and self esteem is in our hands, to nurture or decimate as we see fit. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. This paper represents an engagement with the work of three authors who have studied the personal and private effects of the media on the individual’s psyche: Stuart Hall, James Lull, and Laura Mulvey. As these authors demonstrate, media representations, specifically those of â€Å"the other,† – namely, all the women, and all of the other races on this planet besides Caucasians – still exact a heavy toll on our creativity, our ability to take risks, and our ability to hold, bolster, and develop our self esteem. Simply in seeing ourselves as â€Å"other,† affects our self worth detrimentally and sometimes irreversibly. The controversy surrounding British sprinter Linford Christie and the British tabloid press in the mid nineties illustrates a crucial and heart breaking example of the media’s might in the area of self esteem. The British tabloid media’s antiquated cultural representations of black men cruelly and utterly robbed this tremendously gifted and hard working athlete of his moment of glory after winning the gold medal in the 1992 Olympic games (Hall 230). Rather than highlight the training, sacrifice, and mental focus that Christie demonstrated in becoming an Olympian, the British newspaper The Sun instead chose to focus on the â€Å"vulgar, unstated but widely recognized ‘joke’ at his expense: namely that the tight-fitting Lycra shorts that he wears are said to reveal the size and shape of his†¦ ‘lunchbox’ (Hall 230). Said â€Å"joke† actually crossed the boundary into marketing, as Hall notes, when a firm approached Christie to inquire about marketing their lunchboxes using Christie’s image (Hall 230). Christie, understandably, felt the joke was racist, and inappropriate given the context. Hall carefully highlights the effect that the media had on Christie’s self esteem in this case: Christie felt â€Å"humiliated† (Hall 230). He had just won Olympic gold, arguably one of the highest honors awarded. Yet the media’s focus on stereotypical elements, namely, the expansiveness of a black man’s genitals, undercut Chri stie’s honor completely. Advertising Looking for essay on psychology? Let's see if we can help you! Get your first paper with 15% OFF Learn More As Christie notes, â€Å"it happened the day after I won the greatest accolade an athlete can win†¦I don’t want to go through life being known for what I’ve got in my shorts. I’m a serious person† (Hall 230). Herein lies the media’s impact: the absolute erosion of any potential credibility â€Å"the other† may earn, in one fell swoop. As Hall notes, one of the most effective weapons in the media’s arsenal is to direct our focus. In placing the focus away from the Olympic gold and on to Christie’s shorts, the media successfully â€Å"eclipsed† the black man and â€Å"turned him into a penis† (Hall 230). The effect, as evidenced by Christie’s reaction, eroded some level of self esteem that Christie had associated with the win. The media als o affects and to a large extent directs ideology, again through its power to focus attention on certain elements and ignore others. Theorist James Lull points to the fact that â€Å"some ideologies are elevated and amplified by the mass media, [and] given great legitimacy by them† (Lull 16). In this regard, the media has an insidious ability to manipulate individual creativity on the unconscious level. Since certain ideas promoted by the media find their way into ideology, as Lull explains, these ideas â€Å"assume ever increasing importance, reinforcing their original meanings and extending their social impact† (Lull 16). Often these ideas serve the ideology of the elite, and form â€Å"ideological sets that overrepresent the interests of the powerful and underrepresent the interests of the less rich or simply less visible people† (Lull 16). The net effect on creativity is that some ideas gain leitmotif status and enjoy constant repetition and dissemination, while others cannot find a foothold in the ideological wall. Creativity that perhaps originates in a lower class, or comes from an â€Å"other,† perhaps a black man or a woman, necessarily receives less attention, unless it fits with the prevailing ideology, essentially, unless â€Å"the other’s† creative product continues to abase him or her in some way. The media tells us what creativity has value. Laura Mulvey’s 1975 psychoanalytic essay Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema highlights another important effect of the media on both creativity and self esteem, specifically as it pertains to women. Advertising We will write a custom essay sample on The Effects of the Media on Creativity and Self-Esteem specifically for you for only $16.05 $11/page Learn More Mulvey’s work essentially revealed that the media – in this case film – had succeeded not only in directing the attention of the viewer, but also of sexualizing that attention, essentially locking film in to an exclusively male gaze, exclusively focused on desire, and locking women out of the view completely, relegating them to the passive status of forms to be looked at, wanted, and controlled, and removing all female agency. In film, Mulvey argued, â€Å"the image of woman as passive raw material for the active gaze of man takes the argument a step further into the structure of representation, adding a further layer demanded by the ideology of the patriarchal order as it is worked out in its favorite cinematic form – illusionistic narrative film†¦thanks to the possibility in the cinema of shifting the emphasis of the look. It is the place of the look that defines cinema, the possibility of varying it and exposing it. Going far beyond highlighting a woman’s to-be-looked-at-ness, cinema builds the way she is to be looked at into the spectacle itself† (Mulvey 757). The medium of narrative film affects female creativity and female self esteem in the sense that it has an intrinsic quality of rejection of female input in any other way besides silently, passively, and sexually. The limits that this places on a female filmmaker’s creativity are obvious; the effects it has on her self esteem perhaps less so. Mulvey’s message, sobering though it is, sounds the battle cry for filmmakers of all genders to â€Å"free the look of the camera,† and return creative agency to film (Mulvey 757). Media representations, specifically of those populations who are non white and non male, still struggle to make visible – let alone do justice to – the enormous diversity of human life that we are blessed with on this planet. Ironically enough, for all the marvelous technology that we have at our disposal, we are still hamstrung by an obsolete ideological framework that controls the media. Self esteem can marshal creativity, and the goal of the future must be to free th e media from its backward stance. Works Cited Hall, Stuart. â€Å"The Spectacle of the Other.† Representation: Cultural Representations and Signifying Practices. Ed. Stuart Hall. London: Sage Publications, 1997. 223-290. Print. Lull, James. â€Å"Ideology, Consciousness, Hegemony.† Media, Communication, Culture: A Global Approach. New York: Columbia University Press, 1995. 6-43. Print.Advertising Looking for essay on psychology? Let's see if we can help you! Get your first paper with 15% OFF Learn More Mulvey, Laura. â€Å"Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema.† Film Theory and Criticism: Introductory Readings. Eds. Leo Braudy and Marshall Cohen. New York: Oxford University Press, 1999. 747-757. Print. 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